Heartstring
by givemygunaway
Summary: He tries to picture it in his mind, that invisible tether that connects them, and all he keeps seeing is this lasso around his heart like Rachel's a cowgirl or something and she's got her rope fastened securely right around his beating organ. Finn drabble


After Sue Sylvester's speech at her sister's funeral, he keeps thinking about that tethering thing. He thinks about that feeling she talked about, of being tethered to someone, of having that invisible thread of connection that just can't seem to be broken. He thinks about Rachel, and about how she just _gets_ him, about how he just gets _her_, and how he always, always knows what she's thinking. It was like they can read each other's minds, like they just know what the other person is feeling.

Like being tethered.

He tries to picture it in his mind, that invisible tether that connects them, and all he keeps seeing is this lasso around his heart, like Rachel's a cowgirl or something (leather boots, a short, _short_ skirt and that cowboy hat she wore once when they performed for Mr Schue), and she's got her rope fastened securely right around his beating organ. And the farther he tries to run, the more it hurts, because that rope is like a noose around his heart and the further he is, the tighter it becomes until he can't breathe, until it becomes _so_ tight, it feels like he's suffocating.

He can't run. He can't be away from her, because being close feels like the only way for his heart to not be restrained by the rope that she has around it. He _can't_ run. And it took him a long time to realize that he _doesn't_ want to run. Not anymore. Not when he knows that it's pointless, when he's finally gotten his head out of his ass to realize that all those feelings he's been pushing away and holding back, they just keep coming back in waves.

And isn't that what she's been trying to tell him? That nobody else matters? That she doesn't care about anybody else, because that rope around his heart? She's got one around hers too. And while she's been busy trying to keep them together, he's been busy keeping them apart. He feels a sense of urgency though, like there's no time to waste because he gets the feeling that maybe she's tired of trying. He gets the sinking feeling that she's starting to pull away too. So he decides that it's time to stop. It's time to stop running away, and start running back.

She told him once, back when that invisible rope still held them in place, that the first step towards an apology are flowers. She got it from a movie she had watched once, and Rachel has a habit of turning the things she sees in a movie as a life lesson. So he goes to the florist and stares around in confusion for almost ten minutes, wondering if the movie said anything about the right _kind_ of flower. His eye catches the flash of pink and he turns to look at the vase full of tulips. He feels the rope tugging and he goes with his gut feeling that she would love that. He looks through each of them carefully and he buys the most vibrant one.

It's beautiful and it stands out from the rest of them, special just like Rachel.

He goes home and nicks a glass from the kitchen to put it in. The woman at the shop said that he'll have to wait a day before it fully blooms, and as he goes to sleep that night, he stares at the lone flower, brightening up the otherwise simple room.

He brings it to school in a shoebox and keeps it carefully stored in his locker all day until the bell rings. He knows where she's going to be when classes are over, at the auditorium as she waits for the results of the competition. It's her safe place. The stage is where she goes to when she's nervous, which would be ironic if she's anybody else but Rachel Berry.

He holds the tulip in his hand, each step that's taking him closer to where she is, is amplified by the pounding of his heart against his ears.

He sees two figures standing on the stage and that rope starts to tighten. He's frozen on the sport both by surprise and by that sinking feeling he has in his chest. His grip on the tulip behind his back is secure, and when the Jackass leans down, he feels that tether wrapped around his heart closing in on him. The hand he was holding up drops to his side as he watches them walk away.

The further she goes, the tighter is the bind around his heart. He feels the rope tugging, squeezing his heart for everything it's worth. He watches as she disappears behind the curtains.


End file.
